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For those who live in the past !!

Its 0200 hours as I write this blog. And for a person like me who hits the sack at 2300 hours, this is awful late to be alive,  for I have to be up again at 0530 hours. So why am I up till now ??

Well it was a virus attack on my system, 2 days ago. And by today evening, it wouldn’t boot up. So I had to recover my OS partition and get things going. Since 2300 hours I am trying to make my system back in the old condition, trying to download every application that I had (which includes the virus definitions and software which actually didn’t help much). And every minute passing by, I feel the loss of the data which I had to incurr. And the loss was not much for a normal person. Only mails and my chat logs. But for me, those mails and chat logs were part of something and now I cannot go back to them. May be this is just an omen for me to realise that I have to break away and move on. But for a person like me, who holds on to past as it is the future, getting in terms with is not very easy. And may be, this is the reason, why I thought I might bring the system to its *almost* original state, so that I won’t miss the past !!

Equilibrium !!

Till now, I was thinking the term ‘Dialectic’ is actually a theory which states

“For every positive you need a negative to balance out and maintain equilibrium”

Where as on further reading I realized that the term ‘Dialectics’ is used

“A method of argument or exposition that systematically weighs contradictory facts or ideas with a view to the resolution of their real or apparent contradictions.”

 The actual meaning is something similar to what we have been employing in coming to conclusions in normal debates for a long time.

Whereas the one I thought seems a more interesting case. And also implying that no one is perfect. That everyone is bound to have a flaw, a negative side. That no-one can be a saint and even if someone claims to be one, than that person is defying the law of nature.

I am still reading on this. Incase, I don’t find something related to what I think, then I might term it as my own theory !!

What say ??

Blabbering !!

I don’t what I am doing here. Frustration is peaking inside me. It has been ages since when I have sat and talked with someone. Face to face !!. Talked, not the daily blabbering of day to day chores or stuff, but talked in the sense of opening the mind and heart out.

 

 

At times, life takes a toll on your mental stamina and when you are about to exhaust all you have, that is when you put yourself a nihilist question.

 

 

Is this what Life was supposed to be ?

 

 

3 weeks since I am back, I am sorrounded with nothing but chaos. And that chaos is taking its toll. Whenever I see that life is not being fair with me, other examples spring up, which make me realise that I am faring not that bad. And at the end of the Day, I am confused whether I should be Happy or Sad !!

Care or Control !?

There is a difference in caring and controlling. Most people, when showing care end up ordering us. And if those orders are not followed, they end up getting hurt. If you insist that you don’t want to do those actions, which they think are good for you, you are termed as immature. You are termed as some one who doesn’t know how life works. Or someone who cannot differentiate what is good and what is not.

Defining a path for someone, and expecting them to follow. Yes, the path may be right, but the chance to make mistakes and learn from them has been taken away. This may make my life easier and for the same reason it makes my life less worthwhile.

Denying the choice of choosing and rigidly defining a path for us to follow does not improve our life. But empowering us to make decisions, in both easy and tough times alike helps us grow.

And the chance to make mistakes, helps us understand what we are worth. It helps us make more reasonable, rational and realistic decisions. And the earlier a person is exposed to these tough times, the more capable is that person to make tough choices and choose the right path.

All those who tell me what to do, thinking that I may not be aware, are always welcomed to voice their advices. But expecting that the advice given is followed each and every time as if they are the golden words.

I am sorry, but I cannot have you responsible for my life. And since I have to responsible for what happens in my life, I would rather make my own decisions !! (And the logic behind those decisions and choices may not necessarily be obvious !!). Thank You, But No Thank You !! I would rather decide my own path !!

People need to understand that there is a difference between  controlling and caring !!

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control

[Numb - Linkin Park]

Everybody needs breathing space and there are times when others may intrude it. Even people you care and love !!

Posts with similar thoughts :

Who Am I ?? 

Maturity - Part Another !! 

The Saint, The Coward and The Human !! 

Creativity .. a sorry state of India  

 

Being Defensive !?

During, I believe, the 3rd year of my bachelors. I commented to one of my Friend (I am sure He will remember that) , that the common thing about Sahara is, we never agreed that we are wrong. We will give some reason or the other to prove that the point we were making is right. I still stand by it !!

 

When I entered into the professional world, and on my first project itself. We were having our first review meeting. We were 3 people fresh out of college trying to explain some very senior people in our company, about what we are gonna do. The meeting took up the full second half of the day. At the end of the meeting, we got a feedback that we are too defensive.

 

And as time has passed on, I have realized that they were right. We are still too defensive. It is hard to admit that one is wrong. It takes great courage to admit that one is wrong. It takes even greater courage to admit your fault, take responsibility of the mess one has created and then sit down to make things in order. Few weeks back, I was surrounded with Japanese people. And there I saw, people admitting there mistakes in the open, in front of everybody, taking the blame and sitting down to mend things back into working. And this one of the reasons I admire the Japanese way of working. No wonder they are where they are, given that the limited resources they have been given.

 

I take feedback, very often. But I on the feedback, I justify myself on why I do things the way I do. Instead of understanding my faults, I explain why it is right for me to make those mistakes. Excuses galore, I have never set out to make things right.

 

I think it is time for all of us to realize, that every one is right in their own eyes. What matters, is to be right in the eyes of the majority !!