Musings of a Goalless Mind !!
Lucky are those who have AIM in their lives. And I for one, does not know the next stop. Wandering on these paths, without knowing where I am going, I take this nihilist approach to life and watch time fly by my side. This precious time which I will rue in the future, for I could have made something out of it. And here I sit, spending most of it going back in memory lanes and living in the past.
Every morning I wake up and watch the sun rising. I just wonder whether it was different a few months ago or its just my perception. I initiate so many things, just to distract myself from things. But some years I have been like this, living a goalless life and fooling myself, for I do nothing but blabber, to myself or my colleagues, I make excuses to myself that I have never been a good finisher. Yet I know, that I haven’t given a full thought and effort on anything that I have done. I preach of how things could be and would be, yet I havent have the faintest idea of whats going on.
Confidence, which I had, is something I am lacking now. Until sometime back, I was not afraid to take something new in my professional life and yet here I am wondering whether I will ever be able to make it a success, what I have been doing all along.
Sometimes I just sit aside and amuse myself, sometimes I look at others and wonder how come they are able to handle it. But never I try to help myself.
Those who say
“Things happen, when they have to”
are nothing but fooling themselves or us, for
“Things happen, when they have to and Things never happen until, when an effort is made to try to make it happen”
But with me has always been, that I have never been able to identify what has to happen. For charting the plan ahead is not an easy thing to do, especially when one doesn’t the direction which he has to take. I am just wondering about and trodding this destination less path hoping that someone would hold my hand and guide me out of the cluttered mess around me. And I wonder how long I will be like this before I realize that I will have to find my own way out.
“Once I asked my friend, not to give me advice but listen me out, for most of the times I know my mistakes and how to correct them. And the friend never made me ask again “
This is nothing but the musing of idle aimless mind.
