Trust!!
Somehow, everyone around you expects that you would be lying. There is no way on earth anyone can be telling the truth, especially when the confrontation is going to put you on the wrong side of the line.
I wonder where did all the trust went. The skeptism in everything around is certainly a height.
A true story, why I like the Japanese way of living
Once an Indian guy goes into a supermarket in Japan and purchases some stuff. Its a small supermarket, so the till machine does not tender exact change, it is done manually by the till operator at the counter. So when the girl behind the counter counts the money and returns the change, the Indian guys casually starts counting. The Indian realises the girl behind the counter has started to cry.
Later, narrating the story, the guys realises that the girl started to cry because, when the guy started to count the change, it implied that he was checking whether the girl had stole any money or not.
I know, the crying of the girl was a bit excess, but it was something that happened.
In India, if you leave a shop without counting the change received, you are termed a stupid. But it is basically the trust you have on the person behind the counter. And this story, speaks volumes of the trust that each community has within itself.
I think there is a lot we need to learn from our Japanese friends
Hey buddy,
Just caught up with the missed posts today. Among all, I like this one the best. Trust – though a small word is a big thing – difficult to win, easy to loose.
take care,
Sachin
Trust is a very fluid emotion/feeling. It is never the same, changes & varies in every relationship, situation, culture.
Trust is something very basic in any relationship to work well. If it is not there, things are never smooth. It acts as a grease for the machine !!
Agreed. Every relationship is based on trust. But to build trust there are various parameters we set as an individual and it is customized for every relationship in our lives (including our parents). I believe that before we start placing our trust in someone our mind does a trust test to analyze can I trust this person if yes then how much. When I said trust is very fluid I mean it changes with time, either it strengthens or weakens –depends!
I may be trust worthy today but because of an xyz thing that I did, you may continue to trust me but will question it twice the next time around or not trust me at all. Or today you may not trust me as I am a stranger (for e.g. if I ask for your email or contact number, you will think a 100 times or more, can I trust this person enough to share my personal information and in the end will decide against it or will take the risk to develop a new friendship based on the trust that you decide to place)
Grease for machines or cement to put together bricks to make a wall- it is lifelong process which needs maintenance. The machine needs to be greased from time to time and the wall may develop cracks are not filled up.
But will you trust a stranger?
That the basic difference between the Indian community and the Japanese community.
By default we don’t trust each other, we need to prove that we can be trusted. Whereas, the Japanese by default trust each other, and you need to loose their trust.
I guess, now it turns more on morality grounds. What are the chances that the stranger is not honest or is honest.
I trust so many strangers every day and never meet them again! I trust the autorickshaw guy- that he will drop me home safely- I am alert, vigil but I do place some level of trust.
I trust my housekeeping guy in office- who takes care of all my stuff and belongings even when I am not around.
I trusted this person (who till a few weeks ago was a total stranger) with a story I had written and he was kind enough to post it on his blog with due credits to me. And we both trust each other enough now to share personal information, details about what we do, we have spoken on the phone too… so now we can friends and I do trust him!
As far as communities are concerned- shopkeepers do take money from me at times without counting and even auto wallas and even I generally don’t count my change back. But will not limit it to myself- Indians as community is very trust oriented- so much of business goes around based only on a verbal commitments…